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THINGS BLACK STUDENTS ARE TIRED OF HEARING

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The University of Bristol, top 50 in the world according to QS rankings, land of the brave and although very limited in number, frustrated black and ethnic minority students. In this relatively elite environment, it’s so easy to fall prey to feelings of isolation and “what in the world am I doing here?”. Coupled with general ignorance and the actual pressures of being in university, it is no wonder we walk around with glazed eyes and permanently tired expressions. This is a phenomenon occurring not only in Bristol, but in many other universities around the country as well.

In our bid to take a stand against this injustice, we’ve decided to share with you…our woes.

 

 

  1. I DO THIS [insert stereotypically black thing here] SO I’M BLACKER THAN YOU

“I listen to grime; do you listen to grime? Oh you don’t? Woahh, I love Stormzy so that makes me blacker than you.” insert cheeky lol here.

“Hmm, I love chicken and grapes and I think watermelon is just divine, I’m blacker than you.” …hold on grapes??

“I can twerk and you can’t” or even worse; “My bum is bigger than yours, I’m definitely blacker than you.”

Sigh.

I will gladly scream along to Two Door Cinema Club and Paramore at a party and possibly sell a kidney to see Arctic Monkeys live, does that mean you don’t get sunburnt in English summer and I do? No honey. Stop it.

  1. HOW COME YOU CAN SAY THE N-WORD AND I CAN’T?

As Ayo rightfully asks, “Why is it something you want to
say so bad? Let’s address that problem.” Knowing the history of the word, if some black people are hesitant to use it as well, what gives you any right, in ANY context to say the word?

When black people do use it, it’s more in the context of reclaiming the word. It’s literally; I recognise that we are oppressed and they don’t want us to win, but we’re going to rise above it anyway and excel because we can do anything that we want to.

IN 2017, YOUR PEOPLE STILL — USE IT AS A RACIAL SLUR AND YOU WANT TO OWN IT AND MANIPULATE IT, ARE YOU OKAY SIS?

 

  1. I DON’T SEE COLOUR

O great liberal gods and goddesses of the western world, should I be grateful that you choose to sprinkle your Tikki 2.0 dust on my skin, completely ignoring my oppression because we are all one big happy human race with the same opportunities and experiences? Yes, I appreciate you removing my melanin from the equation so you can easily turn a blind eye to the many ways I suffer because of it. Let’s toast to that shall we?

I understand when some people say; “I don’t see colour”, they mean a person is a person and deserve the same quality of life as anyone else. However, that isn’t how the world works, and we would appreciate if you acknowledged that this is a problem instead.

  1. I’VE BEEN TO AFRICA (AFRICA ISN’T A COUNTRY, WHERE IN AFRICA DON’T TRY ME TODAY)
  2. You don’t wash your hair every day? (stares in disbelief) – This is the part where you launch into a lengthy explanation about hair texture, porosity, natural oils etc and realise nobody’s actually taking in what you’re saying so you just stop.
  3. Where are you from? You’re so well-spoken –  haha um, I’m Nigerian. You colonized me. English is my first language just like you haha.
  4. You’re from Nigeria? Oh wowww, I went to south Africa a few years ago…totally different cardinal points sis, next time, please do better, say Ghana instead.

Or even worse,

You’re from Nigeria, do you know [insert common Yoruba last name here- I got the Adebanjos]?

In a country of over 170 million people, how the… you know what forget it. Goodbye.

 

  1. Slavery happened ages ago, I don’t get why they just don’t get over it.

In 1948, the United Nations proclaimed a human rights declaration everyone obviously signed and has to abide by stating; “No one shall be held in slavery or servitude; slavery and the slave trade shall be prohibited in all their forms”.

1948.

The most significant abolition of slave trade and slavery was done by Abraham Lincoln in 1865. It’s been less than 200 years since 1865, that’s about two generations of people. There are people alive today, who have journals and personal recounts of slavery by their grandparents and great grandparents.

Less than 200 years since all those things you watched in 12 years a slave and worse, was a reality for black families. Way less than 200 years since there was such a thing as coloured buses, coloured bathrooms, coloured cutlery. As a black woman who recently watched Hidden Figures (great film by the way), do you know how angry that makes me feel? Do you know how much black people, today, have suffered in the hands of red-necks and KKK members whose grandfathers and great grandfathers were slave owners? I find it interesting that a large part of the world thinks that the only reason black people are angry is because of slavery. My g, have you not seen the news lately, do you know how many black girls are missing in America as of right now? Police brutality and racist cops? Once again, don’t piss me off please.

By the way, if anyone wondered if slavery still existed; Mauritania, an African country, only under international pressure, passed a law making slave owners criminals in 2007. “Who were the slave owners?” I hear you ask; Lightskin descendants of white slave owners who have been brought up believing in white supremacy, and therefore feel they have power over their darker skinned counterparts. AND you want to come in here talking about, “You don’t see colour.”

NEXT.

  1. White vegans: ‘if black lives matter, animal lives matter’;– Yes because animal exploitation is just like the transatlantic slave trade. This is a full video if you think this is a joke, but I refuse to link it to give ignorance any air time. Watch at your own peril.
  2. (After a fake tan) Omg I’m as dark as you now – I personally find this hilarious. You’re not “as dark as me” babe, you’re orange.
  3. You went to private school, you’re not reaallly black.

So, what you’re saying is that because my parents were able to invest a bit more in my education, my whole ethnicity and culture has been nullified? Because I’m in a more prestigious environment with children of dukes, lords, CEOs of multinational corporations, or people that just want a more personalized education to suit their child’s needs, I deserve to be cast into a grey area where I don’t have the black experience but my skin isn’t white so who the hell knows what I am? There isn’t a single black experience. Kill this stereotype, quickly.

 

  1. “Fear of the police is irrational; you’ve got nothing to be scared of if you’re innocent” –  Interesting because Trayvon Martin with his pack of skittles still got killed? Eric Garner?

 

NOW THESE ARE JUST DOWNRIGHT STUPID

  1. So when you shave your legs, does like, your colour come off?
  2. Do you know anyone selling drugs or do you sell drugs?  
  3. Do you live in a mud hut? Do you have to walk 9 miles to fetch water

I understand that in parts of the world where they’ve never seen black people, a certain level of ignorance is expected but, COME ON, England you literally colonized the world, there’s no excuse for this foolishness.

GOOD BYE.

Biochemistry student pursuing individuality, hopefully never to the point of isolation. I exercise my vocal chords often, dance, dabble in food, languages and literature, occasionally. Motto: Dismantle patriarchy.

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